Saying who and where I am for those who would want to know… a diary for myself, friends and family… so much of the world to discover… I hope anyone who reads enjoys.
June 16, 2013 4 Comments
Early morning, wide awake. Time clock haywire after traveling.
Went out for a walk
Watched the dawn come up.
Can’t photograph the smells or the birdsongs. Nor even catch the light and shadows. I did try.
I am missing Block Island and the ocean. I am loving the difference here.
I said I would post more about groups and stuff like that, but… time to take in… listen to the birds (scottish city birds)
June 14, 2013 5 Comments
When I was working, a lot of what I did was with groups and organizations.
Well, we are all in groups and organizations most of the time – so nothing new there.
But, some of my job was learning and teaching about how within any group each groupie can observe the unconscious processes of functioning and dysfunctioning which slither over and under the rational purposes.
Three things have combined to encourage me to post some of those thoughts and theories, feelings and awarenesses, they might be useful sometime, somewhere, just as emotional intelligence is a sort of now you have it, now you don’t, and is very useful indeed when you do. Those three things are:
First, in spite of many previous posts which might imply that Block Island is the most wonderful place on earth, it is of course home to a community – a group – at least part of which lurched last summer into severe dysfunction. (look up BI Times if the detail of what, where, why matters) Now, first piece of info I have to give here – when a group is dysfunctional, it DOES NOT MEAN THAT EACH OR ANY OF ITS MEMBERS ARE. They could be of course, and may become so, as a dysfunctional group has terrible effects on its members, but they are all probably trying hard to keep doing what they are supposed to be doing, and also trying hard to keep the rest of their lives in some sort of order, business as usual in many other areas, and the groups which belong to those other areas. My heart goes out to the people involved, doing their best and getting crucified.
[One bit of evidence for dysfunction is that over and over again, huge efforts go nowhere.] That’s where the “in a hole… don’t dig…” sort of advice is pretty good and worth taking. But, you usually need more than one bit of evidence.]
Second, a recent post from Sidey suggests she has been in a dysfunctional group for about a year now. Again, doesn’t mean she is not functional, she is affected by it, but, as far as bloggy buddies can see, she continues to function. And she will have other roles in other groups. No-one needs to know details, what she posted lets us feel some of the feelings she has experienced. Second piece of info to give – it is “feelings” which provide the awareness to observe what the unconscious process might be, and offer a guide to whether what is happening in the group is functional or dysfunctional. Get to know your own feelings, at several levels, and how and when they shift or stay stuck. [I posted about using feelings here.]
Third, the G8 is meeting next week in Enniskillen, Northern Ireland. “Groupiness” applies to political groups – even the self-appointed kind – just as much as to any other group (Speccy reminded me). This made me think about all the many groupings Northern Ireland has had, and all of those in other places like Turkey and Syria and Pakistan and China and everywhere. Are they functional or dysfunctional? My own suspicion is that ideology, and especially religious ideology, is a dysfunction. But, that’s opinion. Ideology certainly arouses feelings. Is it not more important to find what is really happening in a particular situation, and think about values, and the spirit of the law, rather than applying rules and ideology? So, the third piece of info is simply for the moment, forget the rational, the reasoning, and even the principles or values which can be named, wonder about the unconscious processes instead – see below – as none of us can see the future. We hope our actions and behaviours work towards making a better future for us all, and we can make that more PROBABLE, not more certain, by choosing how we are in the real real group, which is very much both unconscious and conscious.
What might be observable? How can it be seen it if it is hidden from consciousness?
It is seventy odd years since Wilfred Bion brought his compassion and his capacity to listen to his work as an army psychiatrist. The theory of group unconscious he then wrote about was not a theory of “make hypothesis, seek evidence” but is more of a slow realization: maybe this is what I am seeing here. When I have worked with his theory, this is also what I have found. It doesn’t really work at all if I am trying to apply it. When I am just listening, letting myself feel the atmosphere, suddenly one bit of the theory jumps out from somewhere and CLICK that works, now I see something and feel something which was previously hidden.
How useful is that? Usually absolutely incredibly useful.
That caveat about how to use this theory having been made…further caveat, this post is also far too dry – trying to summarise complicated thought – so I intend to follow this idiotically long dull post with something which has examples and illustrations and stuff which can be connected with more, that is more emotionally. Because, emotion, not reason, is the point to be made! Hope I can do it.
Bion’s ideas, my words: Groups are everywhere, and often can’t be defined, though they might be identified by what the people in them think they are in them for – e.g this is Grade 3, these are the representatives attending G8, this is the Block Island community, that lot are Sidey and Sidey’s colleagues with a particular task. From this you can see that some groups have a very clear membership (Grade 3) some have not (Block Island community – any particular person can be sort of half-in or half out – a winter resident … but I am from Ireland, not Block Island… someone else only comes in summer, but grew up here and belongs in a quite profound way). I have no idea how clear or stable, the membership of Sidey’s group is. I think the G8 group has a definite membership, each appointed as a representative, but it will only last for a few days, where Grade 3 lasts for a year, Sidey’s group may last for a longer time though its members can change over that time, and the Block Island community – well – probably until the sea level rises and there is no more Block island.
Each member brings history, and each group has its own history, probably much of it unknown to any member, and with a multiplicity of strands.
A group has its OWN unconscious. More than the collections of each member’s unconscious.
Bion observed that when a group is functioning, the various bits and pieces of group unconscious do not get in the way too much. The group does what it is supposed to be doing – more or less well, happily or unhappily, the people involved contribute well or badly, etc. The group ‘works’ and he called this the WORK GROUP. While the work-group is functioning, the group unconscious is trundling along helping or hindering, in a way, just like a person’s unconscious is sometimes well in tune with conscious aims and desires, and even simultaneously may be sabotaging the efforts made, coping with defences, on an ego trip, or whatever. It helps to become aware of what might be happening in one’s unconscious, because then one can get more in tune, rather than less in tune. Similarly, as a group member, one can find awareness (in part) of the group unconscious.
In a group, Bion identified three, he said only three , distinct types of unconscious process. Further, he said only one of these would operate at any one time, though a group could fluctuate between them rapidly or hardly at all. Each group member in some part of their own unconscious world linked in to the group unconscious process of the moment, so each group member not only contributed to the group unconscious process, each also had within themselves a link to the group unconscious.
Find that link. You then find out something about how this group works.
It is unconscious, so it won’t be rational. It will be found from feelings, dreams, slips/mistakes, inadvertent stray notions, something that keeps knocking like a tune you can’t get out of your head. (Similar notion to what I wrote about here on my other blog.)
When a group is failing to function, when it is dysfunctional, one of the three processes has become paramount, over-riding the work group, making all the members dance to its tune. Call it a mob, call it group ideology, even call it having a great time (remember an awful party when you/everyone over-indulged…), whatever you call it, the main reason for the group being together has lost out to some other state, one unconsciously driven. Bion called the processes the Basic Assumptions – each different from each other and different from the Work-group.
1. Basic Assumption – dependence
2. Basic Assumption – fight/flight
3. Basic Assumption – pairing
ref:W. R. Bion, Experiences in Groups, Tavistock, London 1968
Bion made us aware of unconscious GROUP FUNCTIONING, a combination of WORK-GROUP ACTIVITY and BASIC ASSUMPTION ACTIVITY (one out of the 3 kinds)
The group as a whole seems to have a mentality, of conscious and unconscious parts. Every individual in the group is in some way involved in the processes of the group as a whole, taking part through part of themselves. Individuals who are self-aware are better placed to become aware of the group mentality when they are not defensive about how the group is affecting them (or is affected by them).
The ‘work group’ furthers the development of the primary task of the group in relation to reality; it is comparable to the healthy ego in an individual.
The ‘basic assumption states’ are mutually exclusive and are bound up with maintaining inner processes regardless of the real task. They can be helpful or damaging, comparable to individual defenses.
A group can be in a basic assumption state without any work-group functioning (comparable to a mentally ill individual), but it cannot be in a pure work-group state.
BASIC ASSUMPTION FUNCTIONING
Each BA attempts to ensure security (even insulation) from the emotional difficulties inherent in development or change. Each may prevent the group from thinking about reality.
BA Dependency – the group knows a leader exists and what a leader should do to maintain the group and protect it from a variety of dangers such as splitting or breaking up or becoming a different kind of group. (The leader need not be a person e.g an ideology will do)
BA Fight/Flight – the group manages real feelings by aggression or avoidance, that is a kind of displacement, as the aggression/avoidance may be about things external or particular members who carry ‘something’ for everyone else.
BA Pairing – the group maintains itself by hope in the future, often seen as the result of a pair getting together to produce the ‘new baby’ which will solve the problems, like the messiah.
Group Dysfunction – being in one BA mode, or swopping between basic assumptions is the chief determinant of what the group does. Hence, a dysfunctional group may think it is working, individuals may be exhausting themselves by effort, but the more effort they make, the more they bind themselves in the BA process.
Sophisticated Group Functioning – the Work Group Leadership consciously uses a BA to harness the group members together for purposeful work activity
OK OK needs work to illustrate – will get there sometime.
June 9, 2013 6 Comments
3rd June Allison is 11
4th June Ruby is 11
Like last year – they decided to have a joint party and spent this week writing invitations: Please Come to Ruby and Allison’s Water Party at Fresh Pond, Sunday 1-3pm. I went early with Hershin (Allison’s Dad) to get stuff ready while Ruby’s Dad and Mum loaded more stuff – like the water bike, see photo, – and other things like kids and towels and sunscreen.
Click for bigger photos:
1.30pm – stopped taking photos, went in water.
3.00pm- pizza, juice and cake, tables in water no problem.
3.30 pm – everyone still in water, Whitney says This is a really great kind of Party
Agree!
Happiness.
Thankyou for having me at your party,
June 3, 2013 12 Comments
Today it is raining, and WordPress have suggested a prompt to occupy me – “Vacation” – where do I want to go? they call it “Tourist Trap“.
Remember remember, when I was about ten, I wanted more than anything to go to Greece.
Temple of Parthenon of Athens (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
This was before Greece became a popular tourist destination, and long before it became a “problem for the euro zone”. Which I do NOT believe – I think it is the economic theory which has the problem – wrote about it last March.
I have been lucky and gone to many places in this wonderful world, though seldom as a ‘tourist’. However, among all the stuff I read as a child (was I an odd child?)
- Famous five, Swallows and Amazons, The Abbey Girls (who remembers them?) the School Friend, Rover and Hotspur -
I had also come across a book about myths and gods, and a whole history of archaeology. The Parthenon, maybe a minotaur or two – geography was not an issue here. Tourism was not what it was about.
Myths, possibility, desire.
I wanted to go to Greece.
I have never been to Greece.
Ted Hughes seemed to know something about this stuff, desire.
Prometheus on his Crag
[Prometheus gave the gift of fire to mortals and thus offended the the gods. Zeus commanded that he be chained to a mountain and an eagle sent to tear at his flesh for all eternity.]
Prometheus on his crag
Began to admire the vulture
It knew what it was doing
It went on doing it
Swallowing not only his liver
But managing also to digest its guilt
And hang itself again just under the sun
Like a heavenly weighing scales
Balancing the gift of life
And the cost of the gift
Without a tremor
As if both were nothing
I would still like to go to Greece, one day maybe.
And maybe economists could read more poetry, they might learn something too.
June 1, 2013 5 Comments
Thanks again Sidey for the weekend theme, this week it is Down the rabbit hole …
Now I didn’t do last week’s theme (handles) and I have missed quite a few and have not wanted to do the WordPress prompts or photo-challenges much either. Nor much else… When I read ‘down the rabbit hole’ I just thought ‘oh for heavens’ sake..’ ‘what about something inspirational ..’ ‘not in writing mood anyway..’ etc etc
So Sorry Sidey.
Of course it is not the prompt.
It is ME
A rabbit, down some personal rabbit hole.
I have been forgetting the cardinal rule of self-awareness – not for seeing and boosting my good self – to be self-aware is to remember that I am indeed in the world with all its wide- ranging nastiness and joyous beauty – not somewhere out/up/away taking a look at it. I have been trundling around not just feeling separate, but being separate. And all the consequent effects follow, been there, done that, not in the mood, too tired, etc. Telling myself that ‘creativity’ sometimes needs a fallow period, haha, re-energising is not the same thing at all.
Have you been there, done that?
I have not been writing poetry, nor going walking, nor (insert occupation of choice here) so very much except when prompted by others, like the Block Island Poetry Project, or the Crazy as a Coot bird group. From the outside, this won’t have been that obvious to my friends. I know my social stuff and it kicks in helpfully. I have taken myself off to singing on Wednesday mornings, I have taken some photos, I went to the BI piano students recital, and the School concert. I took some photos.
So now I am feeling self-aware.
Why now?
What’s made the difference?
What is in this particular rabbit hole?
What brought the realization into the foreground? [Now I can take note of the various bits of stuff... ]
Last question first: Bluemind have been on Block Island. Now, I never heard of them before Wednesday, and then I only heard because Lisa Starr knew them and they asked her to bring along some poetry to add to their fun and games explorations “interdisciplinary professionals working at the intersection of brain science and environmental conservation”. And she asked the Block Island singers to come, so we went to the Spring House on Wednesday evening and sang to them after they had had their dinner, and then we went again on Thursday morning and woke everyone up with a song circle on the utterly beautiful back porch looking out over the ocean, and the moon was still half-white up in a blue sky, and the day could not have started better. School concert at mid-day, then I went walking in the evening and heard the drummers were now at the Spring House, doing their thing. [That's nearly all the singers except me as I never got the hang of drumming.] When I got there, Jen Lighty was dancing so of course I joined her and before long we had everyone who was not drumming, dancing.
GOOD FOR THE BODY
A WAKE UP
and now I am back in touch with myself.
[I remember that I lost a special friend in April, not one who made much difference to my particular day to day life, but one who made a huge difference in the space she took in the world, and all of that is another story to stay in touch with, and all the other contents of the rabbit hole are in the feeling zone too.]
Gosh who would believe I used to do this for a living – work with emotional awareness – I miss that world too. I sometimes try to write up about it [here] but maybe the poetry and singing is better. And, the dancing.
Very short person in green shirt singing
May 31, 2013 38 Comments
I thought this “The Sign Says” was an interesting challenge because it also says so much about what we expect to see, and how we react to seeing something ‘other‘ than expected. The photo below was taken nearly ten years ago, at the beginning of what became many trips to China. Later I discovered there are whole websites devoted to ‘funny chinese translations’. [try here and here - there are lots more]
What it now tells me is that at least the chinese keep trying to help their non-chinese-speaking visitors, and they make a lot of effort to do so. Language translation is full of pitfalls as very few languages allow direct translations between words. Do the chinese have fun seeing our ‘funny english translations? Well no – though they may have fun listening to them when we travel in China. But they do not see many of them over here in the English speaking countries. Libraries and schools and some public offices excepted, we don’t even try!
The sign mistakenly says ‘you have to go’ even if you do not need to.
What is most helpful?
A ‘funny’ sign, or no sign at all?
May 24, 2013 27 Comments
This is in response to the Weekly Photo Challenge: In the Background
I thought that in i-Photo and Photostream there are hundreds of photos which bounce around in some electronic ether waiting to be noticed or deleted – there must be something that applies, even though it was quite unintentional. In about two seconds, I found two, so hope you like them. Maybe I shouldn’t beat myself up about organizing them properly after all.
The first, from Block Island in April, was meant to be a photo of a balanced rock on another rock. I like the clouds in the sky, which I was not looking at when I took it.
The second was taken in Edinburgh last winter when the photo prompt was ‘choose something from your neighbourhood, and I took a picture of the stone wall directly outside the door that I walk past every time I go in or out. Then I didn’t post it at the time. A closer look at something so much ‘just background’ the stone is utterly beautiful, marked by lichen, light and shadow.
Great topic – There are so many things in the background of our daily living.
Thanks for the reminder.
May 21, 2013 3 Comments
This morning was Crazy as a Coot Bird Walk.
We went to Andy’s way and saw 25 different species in less than an hour – over 100 birds. My phone does not take pictures of any of these adequately – but I did get a picture of the pre-historic horse-shoe crabs which had hauled themselves out from under the sand to do their mating thing. I am told the female lays the eggs, then the male covers them, and it takes them a while. Click for bigger pictures.
The most impressive birds – to me – are the egrets and herons. We saw great blue herons, white heron and snowy egrets and a first for me, three yellow crowned herons strutting their stuff – we decided they were mating too. See a picture here – the ones we saw were even more yellow on top.
May 20, 2013 7 Comments
On Block Island, the family keep the “white van” because here there are more dirt roads than metaled roads, and more children/dogs/fishing stuff/beach stuff to sometimes be carried from place to place. Like many islanders, they also have a ‘good’ car which stays on the mainland where there are no overhanging branches or dirt roads which might cause unwanted modification to the paintwork. Or grannies, ditto.
The van – parked beside Callum’s work truck. The van is quite big.
Clearly, the van is quite big. I claim to be five foot two – on a stretch. So when last week Wendy thoughtfully brought the good car over to the island so that she could get to work, and the van would be available for a lot of granny tour guiding for our guests, I did do a lot of driving.
One day, everyone was going to do the 10k Shad Bloom run, which starts at the school, then quickly moves on to Payne Road (dirt) and wends its way through more road, dirt road, track and even up the walking trail in Rodman’s Hollow, before its eventual return to Payne and back to the school. A quite beautiful route… but a little difficult even in the sun… and that was the one day it rained, and rained.
So, I said I would be available to collect anyone along the way, if they were not OK. Sure enough, 12 year old Brooke who was not feeling well before she started, but did not want to be left out, did begin to struggle.
At Snake Hole Road (road? haha?) Lorna said – ‘that child can’t go further’. Barbara said ‘what can we do here?’ Lorna said ‘here is a house’ and promptly knocked on the door and asked for shelter. ‘Of course’ said the house owner. [This is Block Island] Phoned Elspeth. Yes. Told her where. Yes. Beyond Snake Hole and along Black Rock Road. Elspeth said ‘I’ll get there, see you in ten minutes’ – but thought OMG that is not just a dirt road but more of a pot-holed track with grass up the middle. Still the van always copes.
Out and into van, off to Snake Hole Road. Steep downward slope uh oh another car is on the slope, coming up. Other car is stopped. A lot of rain. A few gestures from both sides. Man exits other car runs up to me, says ‘we are stuck. Car can’t start again’. Choices choices – reverse UP Snake Hole Road – leave Barbara and Brooke to do without rescue? No no neither necessary – the van has jump leads!
Rear view – modifications visible are from earlier adventures – this time no visible changes
Wave jump leads at the four tourists in the other car. Drive nose of van up close. Fix leads etc. Their car still does not start. We are all soaking wet. I explain I have to rescue Barbara and Brooke, I have to get past them. This is actually not now true as the friendly house owner has turned out to be one of Callum’s customers [this is BI] and they are all having a nice time, though wondering a little why Elspeth has not yet arrived. I say I will collect them and bring them back to town, after I have got past and found Barbara and Brooke. We push their car back to a place where there is room to pass. I reverse back a bit to get the angle… crash into a post hidden in the long grass.
I had sworn I would never never never do that to the van again, it is reversing which is so hard, as it is far too big. Fortunately, no harm seemed to be done.
OK, deep breath, pass stuck car, proceed up Black Rock, meet another car coming down.
Oh no. But… out jump Barbara and Brooke. It is Callum’s friendly customer taking them home as Elspeth didn’t seem to be coming. He discharges passengers, backs up to turning place, waves goodbye. Elspeth proceeds to turning place. Careful 12 point turn which makes Barbara offer to drive, but I didn’t tell her why I was being so careful. Proceed back to stuck car, people have phoned their friend who is coming out for them. So pass …carefully … [Barbara now convinced I am over-anxious driver] and drive back UP Snake Hole Road, and then home.
Everyone walked or ran the BI Shad Bloom 10k race which was the only wet day – this is Lorna, Peter and Sarah
After that, it was time to go to school and collect everyone else who had braved the walk/run in the rain.
[And time to tell Callum and Wendy I had bashed the van, again.]
When this story was told later to the assembled showered, clean and warm company, it seemed to be very very funny.
So it is told here in response to Sidey’s theme “Amusing Consequences”.
I still do not know – a consequence of what?
The rain? the roads? my size in relation to the sightlines of a large van? [do not say 'my driving']
This is a public Diary but still a stream of consciousness, so what is written re thoughts/feelings at any one time might be not what I think/feel generally, though it could be. It could have been a moody moment, good or bad. The actions are real though. If I have written about something that happened, it did happen.
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