Now for the moment in a kid-free zone, I need occupation. Or, inspiration to decide what would be an occupation I might like to be occupied by. Isn’t it believable and at the same time unbelievable how we discover over and over again how much we actually do not know about ourselves? That seems to be a terrible sentence for someone who has been saying for quite a long time past I must do some creative any writing. Maybe I should say I keep discovering something I did not know about myself, even though once-upon-a-time there was all that psychoanalysis and self-discovery as a part of every day. Maybe other people don’t worry so much about noticing personal oddities.

In the last week, I have realised how much I depended on walking, just walking somewhere, to get me going and provide inspiration. A quick trot to Tesco’s or Sainsbury’s, visit to the Post Office or Bank, if in Shanghai (missing it, missing it) take the kids to school. Of course I know I miss them. Then I would come home and get on with what I wanted to do.

But, my heel hurts, I can walk, I am not doing it any harm so long as I don’t overdo it, but I can’t walk without consciousness. I had to look this up, but I think proprioception is the word for it, the way in which I know consciously or unconsciously what my own body bits are like and how I am perceiving them. So what I have discovered is that now that my usual proprioception way is out of kilter (even though its just a minor niggle) I did not know it was associated so much with happily getting on with life. Oliver Sachs wrote a great book I read ages ago, A Leg to Stand On, which was about how he adjusted psychologically to a broken leg. Think of Nadal and Djokovic playing that incredible wonderful tennis on Sunday – according to the commentator some of their magnificent performance is at the level of instinct (rather different from my level). They do not need to think about the placement of their feet, angle of arms, etc etc in order to reach, strike and return.

Somewhere when an injury occurs, the stuff we were doing before at the level of instinct is not do-able any more without thinking about it, and that upsets the other things we did not know we were doing at the same time.

The sitting room gets more and more crowded, with stuff, not people.

So I am without inspiration.Having sat down at the computer anyone who bothers to read this is getting a long involved post.

Casting around for some trivial relief, here is a photo of my bike which now lives in front of the bookcase and books which had to be moved out of the boxroom. Goodbye to my once elegant southside sitting room. I am trying not to sound too fed up.

I have joined Write on Edge prompts to see if someone else can provide me with inspiration.

Watch this Space. The new lodger and her rather nice 6-year old for whom the boxroom had to be adjusted, arrive tomorrow. If they provide inspiration will it be OK to write about them?


4 thoughts on “Inspiration

  1. Last year I had a ridiculous getting out of bed injury and sprained my big toe. Who knew how much we need to be able to move the big toe? Suddenly I ached everywhere and only moved at a snail’s pace. I didn’t even have an interesting excuse, or a medical sounding name, so it was just embarrassing.

    I have read that FitFlop shoes, boots etc, are helpful for folk with your heel thing. Not cheap but incredibly comfortable (I wear the brand when at all possible)

    You’ll have noticed that I drone on, rarely waiting for proper inspiration 🙂


    1. The drone bit is not true though maybe it feels like that – I love the music you put in – definitely non-drone
      I found it difficult to get decent shoes in Shanghai – they do fitflop but I can hardly ever find my size even though I am only a 5 or 6 depending on wide enough. Chinese feet seem to stop at 4 and are long and narrow. I eventually found an ECCO shop and have fancy insoles etc. I am exploring the shoe fitting front here. Thanks for the tip.


  2. It’s funny how you don’t notice something until it is gone or changed, we take so much for granted and when something shifts it can take a lot of getting used to. After I had my gallbladder out I noticed this big gap where the pain had gone, I noticed it in a good way but noticed its absence more than its presence, since I had become so accustomed to the discomfort over 18 months. Funny how your body works. I hope your heel is better soon.

    Oh and Edinburgh box rooms… You just prompted a flashback to my several months in a Comely Bank box room… Cosy little things, not to be sniffed at! I found I slept so well in it, very comforting!


    1. Gosh I didn’t know you had your gallbladder out. All ok now I suppose. And yes – that is what I was getting at. So much of what we experience is actually below the radar of awareness. Only when its gone do we realise we had that experience. I forgot to say how much I enjoyed seeing Skye’s artwork on your Christmas card when I got home and got through the pile of mail, thanks for that great bit of cheer! love to all Elspeth

      those who seek new land have to spend a long time out of sight of the shore [Andre Gide]


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